Five Reasons Why Barack Hussein Obama Should Be President

By
December 14, 2006

It would seem the humble Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t yet realize some of his greatest strengths. He recently scolded Maureen Dowd for making fun of his overly large ears.

But a closer look suggests that the size of his ears would be a tremendous asset to Barack Hussein Obama as President. Just off the top of my head, I came up with the following five reasons for a start:

#5 – Of all the candidates, Obama is best equipped to listen to the people.

#4 – The Secret Service will never lose a President Obama in a crowd.

#3 – Just think of how much gas money the country could save by doing away with Air Force One – added benefits re global warming, too.

#2 – We’ll never have an instance where only one advisor has the President’s ear – there’s plenty to go around.

#1 – In the event of global war, Obama could tin foil his ears and be a one man command and control center thereby ensuring the integrity of the chain of command.

Update: Awww, Snappedshot prefers a more subtle approach. As a President, I guess Dumbo would be cute.

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Comments:
  1. windy city says:

    I almost threw up the other night before the Bears game! I wish Hastert would run. He’s well liked in my parts!

  2. Phoenix says:

    You like Denny Hastert in your parts? eew.
    Forget saving fuel. If Obama gets a convertible the wind resistance will use up too much fuel. The Friends of Trees will demand cosmetic surgery.
    I’m more worried about the purple lips. If they help him pronounce “nuclear” correctly, then I won’t care.

  3. Phoenix says:

    Where is everyone? Does Christmas make people not comment?
    I time-travel during Christmas. Where I am, it’s April. :}
    I think Obama’s ears make him look like a republican.

  4. snapped shot says:

    Oof, that hurts the team!

    “Mr. President? Is that you?”Dan Riehl (henceforth known as “The Grinch of Democratic Presidential Aspirations”) is definitely going on a mean streak. The picture alone had me cracking up to the point of tears.
    You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch!
    At le

  5. Phoenix says:

    As in ‘elephant’.

  6. chrys says:

    Ohio was looking for an Obama “graphic!” – ears anyway! Someone else from the group already found you! You should prove to be a “tad” busy with “peeking” – doesn’t seem like a comment catcher though. More of a picture rich target area! Great work Dan!

  7. Don’t Tease Barack Obama

    I checked out old pictures of Mr. Obama for ear size. What I found was disturbing. Barack Obama can actually pull in his ears when he wants to, just like I can suck in my gut. Look at his pictures.

  8. BizzyBlog says:

    Barack Obama Hes All Ears; Maureen Dowd Questions Whether Hes All Man

    In the third-last paragraph of her October 21, 2006 Obamas Project Runway column (the one that, luckily for Barack Obama, almost no one outside of Manhattan reads), the New York Times Maureen Dowd wrote this (this link and o…

  9. Barak Obama, Maureen Dowd & The Ear Controversy

    DumbObama?&n…

  10. michaela says:

    Sorry, I’m a Republican but if Obama runs, I’ll definitely vote for him. So will the majority of african americans and women. He’s gorgeous! Shallow but who cares. Dems will have a Clinton/Obama ticket that’ll probably beat anyone. Be real.. all of our Rep candidates are lackluster at best and way too old at worst. McCain will be an octegenarian, for god’s sake! Doesn’t look good at all.

  11. theonlyhumanbeanAZ says:

    Hey Dan ! Glad you liked my picture I created! Give the poor artist some credit in the future eh mate! You had some good lines to go with though :-\ Bean.

  12. Dan Riehl says:

    Hey Dan ! Glad you liked my picture I created!
    What picture are you talking about? If you mean the photoshop on my blog, you’re crazy. I still have the working frames I used to make it. Or did you do the one at snapped shot?

  13. theonlyhumanbeanAZ says:

    The picture above – i did that! Yesterday – All ears – I saw my buddy here copied you on it. http://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/2006/12/five_reasons_wh.html#comment-26603749
    Im just asking you give me a weblink to my site
    thats all… I love your work too!

  14. Dan Riehl says:

    I have no idea why your lying. But I did that photoshoip myself last night and I don’t appreciate your bullshit. On top of that, your url is a locking url one can’t back out of, so I will continue to kill your link. If you have an issue, email me. But no more lying BS about my work, dude. I have the raw files I used to make that image.

  15. tuyvnsurvivor says:

    (1)Rice, Ridge, (2)Hannity, North (yeah I know), or others than my picks, but please do not let us run Badman McCain to doom us for a certain loss.
    Sure would be nice to go to the poles once more and absolutely enjoy casting my vote…remembering Reagan. Rice and Hannity or Hannity and Rice would be good, my pick. McCain has been in politics too long and underhanded, and caught too many times…I do not trust him for going for drinks and returning my change.

  16. Phoenix says:

    You went to the poles to cast your vote? Did you freeze your ass off?
    Hannity? Can you imagine his State of the Union addresses? Four days and counting. “Someone shut Mr. President up!!”

  17. Phoenix says:

    >I’m a Republican but if Obama runs, I’ll definitely vote for him. So will the majority of african americans and women. He’s gorgeous! Shallow but who cares.<
    Ain’t America great?

  18. Althor says:

    Wouldn’t you say this is a good way of summing it up! LOL!:
    From Hyscience: (http://www.hyscience.com/archives/2006/12/the_godhood_of.php)
    The “Godhood” Of Senator Obama And The Problem It Poses To His Presidential / Vice Presidential Aspirations (Revised)
    Topics: Humor
    Anyone who has been following the antics of the “elite” mainstream (what a misnomer!) media, of the MSNBC, the CNN, and the “Pink Alphabet Networks” (ABC, CBS, NBC) must be aware by now that upstart Presidential hopeful and Senator, Barack Hussein Obama (can we really afford to trust anyone with the name “Hussein”?), apparently walks on water across the reflective pool at the Lincoln Memorial, turns water into oil for the needy for winter heating in the northeastern states, miraculously feeds the masses of his followers with food stamps from a bottomless basket, absolves in their prostitutionhood women for the late-term murder of their babies and abortions, cures people without medical insurance who kiss the hem of his pants (if they kiss the crotch of his pants they are guaranteed a full recovery), raises politicaly dead fellow democrats from their graves (in the polls), and that he’s apparently the Messiah, and leftist savior of the Democratic Party, especially now that High Priestess Hilary has gone astray and has moved more towards the center!
    The media coverage of Senator Obama has been so enthusiastic and pervasive, that one could well liken it to a secularist, leftist, equivalent of the Christian “Good news” or Gospels on their part: “The Four Gospels of Our Lord Barack (Blessed in Zwahili) Obama according to St. CNN, St. MSNBC, St. ABC, and St. CBS!
    Wherever he goes, Senator Obama is met by cheering crowds reminiscent of the visits of the late Pope John Paul II (all he needs is a bullet-proof glass “Obamamobile”), he’s accorded the reception given Hollywood movie stars and celebrities, and is treated wherever he shows up with the “Pomp and Circumstance” reserved for visiting Royalty or Foreign Dignitaries and Heads of State! And the “paparazzi”- in this case the “elite” mainstream media – follows him assiduously wherever he goes as if he was a “Rock Star,” hanging to each and every one of his words and pronouncements as if they were “Pearls of Wisdom” – the words of a Prophet!
    In short, miracles are being attributed to him, many of his devotees at his public appearances are “speaking in tongues” (that’s because they are illegal aliens), the blind see (that Hilary is too controversial, and likely unelectable, and Obama is a fresh, charismatic, new face for the dems to rally around), the lame walk (with Farrakhan’s “Million Men” marching to the tune of Obama because he’s black and of Muslim parentage), and it is even rumored that there is a movement to soon propose that he be “Beatified” in life by the Vatican (though many claim that Obama is not really a Christian as he claims, but secretly a Muslim – like the Kenyan father who abandoned him and his white trash secularist, Atheist, mother)! Obama is even considered by some of his devotees to be the recent reincarnation of the Bodhisattva, of the 12th Imam of Islamic lore, or the present incarnation of Krishna (well, at least Obama’s lips are blue)! Makes you wonder if that Iranian madman, Ahmadinejad, will bow at his feet in worship if Obama is elected President in ’08!
    But at any rate, all this deification, and adoring adulation poses a very real challenge to his very candidacy, since, as we all know, secularist democrats are very hostile to religion, and having a “Saint,” a “Buddha,” the “12th Imam,” an “Incarnation of Krishna,” or a “Demi-God” (and no, I’m not talking about Bruce Willis’s ex-wife), running for President, or Vice President, on the Democratic ticket in ’08, poses of the “Separation of Church and State” that the godless secularists, leftist, democrats are so adamant about, and that they so love to use as an excuse when abolishing religion – after all, how can you justify banning all religious expression from the public arena if that very public servant, your President, who is supposed to represent the godless secularist views of his Party, and promote its anti-religion agenda, is considered to be a demi-god?!?!
    And God (or should I say Obama) only knows that “Obamism” is well on its way now to become a “religion”! Heck, even Tom Cruise has commented that he and Katie may convert over to Obamism from Scientology as more spiritually compelling to seeking our human “Roots” (is that “Kunta Kinte,” or “Lucy” in Olduvai Gorge?)!
    I wonder if as a demi-god, or a figure receiving pseudo-religious veneration, the Supreme Court will rule that Obama’s name must be struck from all text books and not be displayed in any public buildings if elected! That would pose a problem to the tradition of hanging the picture of the current President at all Federal offices!
    Well, as controversial as she may be, we have to admit that Ann Coulter was right, that ” liberal secularism” is indeed a religion, and that their’s is, as she so aptly puts it: “Godless: The Church of Liberalism.”
    I would add that all this pseudo-religious fervor about Obama proves that some hidden chord has been struck in their psyche, that they have been hungering for something to fill the spiritual void in their empty lives and godless altars, and that Obama fills that primal need! Now, with the way that the media and the dems are worshiping Obama, it seems they are no longer “godless.” Now with Obama they have a demi-god to worship!
    Ha, ha! Well, move over Jehova, Jesus, Allah, and Krishna! At least the democrats once again have a “god”: Obama (May Piss Be on Him)!

  19. In response to Althor’s comments…..
    This is one of the most hateful and overall negative post I have seen in quite some time. This kind of trash is not humor, it is disgusting. People should be more positive in this life. We are all on this Earth together, and there are forces out there in the universe that are against us as an entire human race. What we really need to be doing is thanking the God within us all and treating each other as Kings and Queens, because no one is getting out of this Earth alive in our flesh. That kind of negativity in that post is a dividing tool of the enemy of mankind, and the human race will not advance with such behavior.
    L.V.X.
    Rev. Jason M. Dodson

  20. Casper says:

    Barack Is Awsome!!!!

  21. pj says:

    fuck you obama will be the best president in at least 8 years ass hole.

  22. Terry C - NJ says:

    Piss your pants every time you see a black or brown person, you racist f**ks?