Nice Guys, Dirty Sex and Circus Peanuts
It's a bit long for my attention span, though not THAT long. But a couple riffs in this Cracked.com piece on Nice guys cracked me up, this one chief among them.
Since he sees you as a pure angel (more on that in a moment), he fears his own corrupting fantasies of you … or maybe he fears your disgust, should you learn his gruesome desires. But you, me and the sales figures on Fifty Shades of Grey know that women's only problem with dirty sex is the same one circus elephants have with peanuts: there's not enough, and the only way to get any is to obey some jerk with a whip.
heh Besides, it takes some shots at Democrats, with a photoshop of John Edwards after this bit. So the read can't be that long: 5 Things Girls Don't Seem to Understand About 'Nice Guys'.
What you want to do here is encourage some cocky behavior. A jerk would have no shortage of this, because he never questions his decision, no matter how many other people's loved ones it kills. You have to show him there's no ledger accounting the good we do against the harm. He'll soon realize most people talk great game but do very little to help others, and many are awful bastards in private (again: Democrats).
As Friedrich Nietzsche famously said … "Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws."
This army of clumsy lovers means well, but always manages to drop the ball in the clutch. Worse still, nice guys think their good intentions make up for their pathetic failure to deliver. They're the Democratic Party of boyfriends.